Indoor Skydiving – iFly Austin 2013

So you’ve been electric go karting, you’re waiting for a groupon for the Formula 1 GP tickets so you can see the Grand Prix for under $1000, what’s next? Indoor skydiving! iFly is a vertical wind tunnel franchise which will be opening a few miles North of the Arboretum on 183.

Why indoor skydiving? Ever dream of being a bird, or have one of those flying dreams? Skydiving is a bit like that. Only real. Sure, you could dress up as a flying squirrel and jump off a tall mountain and scud across the landscape hoping to deploy your ‘chute before you embed yourself into the valley pasture below. Or you could learn to sky dive with a static line – jumping out of a plane attached by some dental floss to the certainty that even if you pass out, your cord will be ripped and you will regain consciousness at somewhere less than terminal velocity. Maybe as you explore unconsciousness while flying you’ll have a walking dream, or a sitting dream.

These things take time, skill and effort, all of the things that we lazy thrill seekers eschew in our quest for the low hanging fruit of experience. So that’s why we invented tandem jumping – strapping yourself to someone who can pull a rip cord for you, and steer you down to earth betwixt their skillful legs. I did that in Cape Town. Jolly exciting, and I can still hear the crack in my neck from when the parachute decelerated my body fast enough to knock the wind from my strapped up lungs.

So the vertical wind tunnel allows you to fly with very little effort. Strap on a suit, don a helmet and float on a body of air whistling past your flapping cheeks at up to 160MPH. And because you’re only 5 feet off the ground, it will be the cheeks on your face that will be flapping.

So iFly are starting to get the word out about their new location, which is due to open in 2013. I’m hoping that they’ll promote themselves with groupons and living social deals, so I can get me some lazy sky time. All just 20 minutes drive from my door in the glibly named Austinville, and without the inconvenience and expense of hiring a plane and a pilot.