Last night I dreamt

Normally, if I were you, I would have stopped reading by this point. Anything that starts with, “I had a dream…” has already been done quite admirably by that Martin King fella.

So, assuming that you’re not reading any more, I can feel free to talk freely about free things.

Last night I dreamt that the GB pound gained against the US dollar. Today, it did.

I mean, in that last Potter film, the little spod keeps having premonition type dreams. Talk about lazy authoring. My guess is that Rowling was sat there on Nov 30th, trying to make her novel up to 100,000 words before midnight. Think nanowrimo, only twice as many words. It’s the way they do it in Britain. Twice as much. So she’s there at 89,144 and it’s 6pm. Right, she thinks to herself, I’ve got to the end, the wizard has turned into a unicorn, Ron’s got the magic butt-plug out, Herwhiney has spent some time in a library being irritating, and Potter saves the day through no apparent skill of his own, and none of the characters except Snape have any redeeming qualities. My work here is done. Now how am I going to fill the last 10,866 words? I know, I’ll write the ending of the book as a dream sequence, repeatedly, throughout the book. Bingo. Book finishes, sizeable cheque on the way from the publishers, little Nanowrimo icon for my website, and I’m off to the dog track for some scampi and chips.

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