“Party? Sure. Where is it?”
“Do you know a good liquor store?”
“There’s one I use over there. It’s okay.”
“Why is Smirnoff so cheap? How do you septics make a B52?”
“Kahlua first. Then Grand Marnier. And then with the nozzle, you slowly pour in the Baileys. It’ll settle between the other two layers. What part of Texas are you from?”
“Well, I’m not from Austin.”
“I figured that. East Texas?”
“Very East.”
Ride of the Valkyrie.
“Want to go check out the band? They’re really good.”
“What, in that garage that smells of humid human urine?”
“That’s the one.”
“OK.”
“I always used to wait until half way through the set before joining in the mosh pit. That way the other guys are normally starting to tire. Hmm. This boxing is starting to pay off.”
“Want some booze?”
“Hell, yes.”
“Hey, do you mind? We’re pissing over here.”
“I don’t mind. I’m not looking. If you’re going to squat in the garden, you’re going to get people weeing by you. I like weeing.”
“We like weeing too.”
“That’s why we drink so much.”
“Sure is.”
“Me too.”
“Why are they fighting?”
“Some guy has been grabbing ass all evening. Bunch of people from out of town. I warned him three times.”
“It’s kind of funny. Hey, looks like I’m third in line for the good guys.”
“Yep, I’m second in line. And I’ve just got me a bottle.”
“That twunt has just stepped on my bag of booze.”
“Yeah, I was, like, trying to break up the fight, and all I can hear is some guy with an English voice making wise ass comments. I’m surprised they didn’t start on him.”
“Notice how all of the women have left now that there’s been a fight.”
“And the police are here.”
“Oh, yeah by the way, there’s a band staying at our house tonight.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, the bass player took a razor to his forehead to get some blood. Like they do on wrestling. Only he was drunk and he cut himself too deep. Emergency room, 40 stitches. And the people they were supposed to stay with kind of disappeared after that.”
“Great. Who are they?”
“They played the party – Black Lips.”
Blackout.
“Hey Jesus. Want to come to the gun show?”
“Urrrrrrggh. What time is it?”
“Eight thirty. You coming?”
“I don’t think I’ll be moving for a bit. Thanks Guy. Is there still a band in the lounge?”
“There’s bodies all over the place.”
Blackout.
“Jesus! Come to the gun show!”
“Urrrrrrggh. What time is it?”
“Ten twenty. Come on.”
“OK. Is that band still in the lounge?”
“Sure are.”
“I like the sign that says ‘If in doubt empty the magazine’. Why do these shotgun cartridges cost three dollars each?”
“They have a slug, and pellets. They pretty much stop a rhino.”
“Can you mind the band for a while – I’ve got to go downtown.”
“Mind them?”
“Yeah, you know. Make sure they don’t steal anything. Keep them away from sharp objects.”
“No problem.”