Mortgages in London? Buy a house from someone with money that isn’t yours? In fact the bank owns your new house. And it’s not really worth all that much. And they’ll take it back from you if you can’t keep them in their second holiday home and their mistresses in theirs.
Instead of just getting interest-free credit on a credit card, and using it to buy jewellery and then fleeing the country and selling it to a man in Switzerland and changing your name, buy a house with someone else’s money. Get it insured and blow the f*cker up. It’ll stimulate the economy – biulders will be employed to build, someone will be filing your paperwork, and so on. And if you plan it right, you might even make enough profit to buy that jewellery yourself.