‘When we are born, we are same same colour as you. Then our muddahs rub in bamboo cream, make us strong, and de bones, and the skin turn black.’
My arse. I was basically buttered by a large handed lady on the beach this afternoon, after trying to raise my travelling partner’s anti by entering into the 5th massage of the day. Claiming to perform massage, butter was slapped over all of my sunburnt skin. Not until the unctuous lady grabbed my sandy feet did the true nature of the massage become clear. I was to be rubbed down like a heavily painted door with a sandy working fluid . Skin was rent from my surface by strong blasts of coarse abrasion.