Three vegetarian cats. One meat-eating man on a mission. Week five of the cat-sitting debacle sees man try new tactics to turn cats into carnivores. The man now invites other prominent cats of the local community to eat meat from the doorstep. His plan is to shame his resident cats into eating meat, or risk […]

Use archaic slang: ‘You stupid berk’. Berk is short for Berkshire Hunt. Which is cockney rhyming slang. Make up your own slang and then submit it to a modern dictionary: ‘You stupid twunt’. This was popularised by a Scaryduck blog, but is believed to originate from Chris Morris. Or ‘You fadge’ from Roger’s Profanisaurus. Copy

“Know anything about cooking chana dal?” “About what?” “Cha-na da-al” “That’s like a curry isn’t it? You’re a curry man, you should know.” “But it says something on the packet like ‘Do not eat this. If not cooked properly you might die’.” “Well it’s lentils or something like a vegetable isn’t it? You can’t die