“Ah yes, and now for your report Miss Wismar. How are you going to increase sales in the budget end of the Bulmers cider range?”
“Well, we want to focus on the higher strength ciders. As you know we’ve been researching our target market of Strongbow Super drinkers for the last six months, and we have some interesting results. The alcohol content as you all know is 9 per cent. Our customers reach saturation of our product in a given binge session, after between two and eight cans. The median purchase is three cans. After this, our research shows us that most of our customers reach the soil point.”
“The soil point, Miss Wismar? What the dickens is the soil point?”
“It’s when our customers can’t really drink too much more, without, er, how shall I put it? Without… losing continence. Over a period of time, most of our customer base purchases just below the soil point. And this is where we can increase sales.”
“Excellent, Miss Wismar, pray tell us how?”
“Well, we drop the alcohol by volume to 7.5 per cent, we up the anti-emetics to avoid vomitting, and we keep the same great flavour. But it takes the customer more cans to get to the soil point. This makes the two can drinker into a three can drinker, and the median now becomes a four can drinker, bringing in more revenues. We adjust the small print so that it says ‘extra strong cider’ instead of ‘super strong cider’ and no-one will be the wiser.”
“Splendid. Pass me the horse grinder Miss Wismar.”