As an experienced house-sitter (having been sat in a cat-infested house for over a month now), I have the following advice for all wannabe home tenders on how to fill their days.
- Avoid shopping. Go through the owner’s kitchen cupboards looking for foods you wouldn’t or couldn’t buy. I had tuna and chicken gravy on Saturday. Not as bad as it sounds. I found some vintage foods too – a jar of unidentifiables which should have been eaten by 1995
- Watch quiz shows on the telly. You can fool yourself that watching something that purports to be educational is a valid use of time. Jot down details of how to apply to be a contestant, and try to get on to become rich with the useless trivia you have picked up
- Take out the lightbulbs and stalk around the house at night, practising for ‘pretend to be blind day’
- Have broadband installed on a 30 day free trial basis, and spend all day downloading and watching films you’ve always wondered about
- Join a gym and do pilates with flatulent old ladies