At a reunion the other day, a volley of fact finding small talk was launched at my starboard side by a chirpy scouser:
“What are you doing these days?”
“Nothing,” I said in an honest kind of way.
“Where do you live then?”
“Well, nowhere really.”
“You must live somwhere, surely?”
“Not for any length of time.”
We weren’t getting anywhere, but the discussion has forced me to do a bit of introspection.
Am I retired or unemployed? Here’s what I came up as evidence that I might lean towards the retired side of things, based on my understanding of giffers and old aged pensioners:
- joined a Bingo club
- came on an all inclusive package holiday slightly out of season to the Costa del Coffindodger
- started to read my mail, and thought about writing letters of complaint to many of the senders
- thought about having a nice cup of tea on more than one occasion
- remembered someone’s birthday and even got a present for them
- went for a long walk
- played a game of cards for one person
- started watching Eurosport. “Say, what about the mighty Glinka and the Polish women’s volleyball squad?”
- sat very still and did a few hours of staring at people and grumbled to myself about the youth of today
Admittedly, the last one was in a nightclub in which I was incapable of standing, but I think the writing is on the buspass.