on the appointment of Jim Brian to the position of my official drinking coach. He has tutored many celebrities in the ways of drinking, and specialises in both stamina, and sprint training, having great personal successes in the ‘yard of ale’ categories. Under his wings, I feel confident that I can break the three second pint barrier. With his expert guidance, I achieved a personal best of not only drinking a pint of nasty nasty bitter quite rapidly, but doing so on a Tuesday. Thanks Jim.