Ever had one of those “I hate new technology” moments? Ever dreamed of clawing back a little at the relentless march of new toys? You need a cell phone, but don’t want a small and shiny colourful one which can send you pictures from your fridge and restock it at the same time. You looked at getting a Fisher-Price walkie-talkie and embedding a Nokia inside the plastic casing, but it was too expensive. Look no further. You can now get the phone that Patrick Bateman had in American Psycho. The Motorola Ultra. Reconditioned. It’s all 1980s gravy.