Can Can Kwan

It’s like being the spastic beginner in a step aerobics / boxercise / tai bo class. You don’t have a chance of following the moves of the person in front though. Because she’s the nutter who is doing skipping tricks while she’s waiting to start the class – spinning the rope beneath her three times as she leaps into the air. Her legs are too fast to follow – all you get is a hummingbird blur of limbs. You can’t pick out what she’s doing as you move forward and backwards in the hall.But you have to keep moving forward and backwards in time with everyone, otherwise the enormous fishmonger behind you will kick you in the back of the head.

He has to be a fishmonger, either that or he keeps recently deceased fish in his gym bag, and rubs his wrists on them just before he starts the Wu Shu Kwan lessons. And get this, the instructor really can fly – the Guinness Book of Records says so.

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