- Scream “Hellor Meester!” back to everyone who screeches it at you
- Ignore the tooting of passing ‘Mr Jolly Lives Next Door’ microbuses touting for taxi trade
- Ask insane beggars for money to see how they like it
- Consider re-reading Neil Cross’s excellent ‘Mr. Inbetween’ for a third time, or just skip to the violent bits
- Count down the hours until your ferry out of Tarakan