Ladyboys of Bangkok

Ladyboys are good:

What would you do, last night in Bangkok, and you hadn’t enjoyed the pleasures / seen any ladyboys close up? Damn right, you’d head out to the cabaret to get la creme de la creme of these transgendered lovelies. So Jim, Ciaran, Wan and myself went to warm up in a freezing Irish pub, right next to the cabaret theatre. I was particularly cold in the frisge like aircon due to the effects of Songkran in Khao San Road – I was pretty porridged. In fact, there weren’t many farang where I was, so I made an obvious target. Almost as much as a target as the group of seven pretty-boys, mincing their way along with hips a-swinging.

Anyway, the cabaret turns out to be quite expensive, and doesn’t look like you get too close to the action, so after some cocktails, pool, and shooters, we head to Nana Entertainment Plaza and sit drinking outsite a go-go bar. I wander in for a leak, and notice a well endowed lady in a red thong, making a mental note to describe some of her finer qualities to my drinking companions. But first I have to negotiate the door, which involves negotiating a flesh roadblock at the entry curtain, and removing several hands from my unmentionables while fighting back the same curtain’s enveloping folds.

Of course it turns out to be a ladyboy bar, so we go inside for a look. The girl in the red thong takes to using her left breast as one of those little punchbags. Which still looks painful, even if said breast is made from silicone, and said girl is in fact an ex-boy. Jim and Wan as a couple were fairly safe, though not without attention from the staff, while Ciaran and I became the main targets for the lovely May.

May was gorgeous. Tall, slender, with predictably Asian long black hair. Using Ciaran as a kind of chair, she was determined to demonstrate her marvels. Not in a sleazy, in your face kind of way. More in a demur yet proud way. She did have lovely skin, “daily hormones” she said and insisted I feel the softness, and lack of chin stubble. True, showing strange men what is behind your g-string is often considered a bit forward, while the strange men sit at the bar and drink Heineken. But she had had the snip, which at 10,000 baht probably wasn’t. Using both her lengthy index fingers held long fingernails together, May described the dimensions of her new orifice, but being rather flat-chested, she suggested that another 10,000 baht would get a really good job. No 2000 baht stuffing of bubble-wrap in this chick’s chest. She probably had a pretty face to start with, but her manner and grace was quite a study in femininity. Girl done good, and though we may have declined her offer of oral satisfaction upstairs, I’m sure she doesn’t have too much trouble earning money. Quite charming. And smooth.

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