Every traveller in a backpacking hostel has a story. And each one tells you within the first fifteen minutes of knowing them that they aren’t really a backpacker. And why they’re not. And how they’re different. Jesus, people. Take a look at yourself. Open up the encyclopedia and look under ‘stereotype’, or ‘silly haircut’. Both entries say ‘see backpacker’. And then look at your Lonely Planet book (nothing Lonely about hostels full of gitty goatied travelling muppets) and then don’t have that beer – save your cash for a batik sarong and some dysentry on toast.

I think the volunteer team has now normed for the expedition. I have only been slapped in the face once, so that was surprisingly easy.