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"London Lesbians Lifted My Barnet"

claims Ron Malibu of Shepherds Bush, London. “I really loved that hat – it had special memories for me,” continued Ron. The hat in question had an emblem denoting Tottingham Hotspurs Football Club. It was callously removed from Ron in a predominantly female homosexual night-club in London’s fashionable west end on Valentine’s day morning. “I don’t really like football, but I got the hat when I was cold at the only English football game I’ve ever been to,” wept a distraught Ron.

Police are appealing to anyone who can identify any of the people in the following photos to come forward if they have seen a blue beanie hat on their heads.

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