Kota Kinabalu

Deja Vu. Could have sworn I just tried to type this in and post it a second ago, before this internet outfit crapped out on me. Something to do with the two man, a dog, and a piece of string operation I’m using. The string must have snapped, or they may have spit-roasted the dog.

Not many people would come to Kota Kinabalu unless they were on the way somewhere. It’s nice enough, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not somewhere you’d fly to for fun. But its where GreenForce choose to train you, before the mammoth trek to the tiny spec of an island called Balak. Five members of staff are teaching fish, coral and diving here to a bunch of perspiring newbies, who are falling asleep in lectures, and admitting that they only came for the free diving and the living on a beach. Although there are of course serious world-saving heros and heroines, and folk who know about international tourism policy and marine biology. A mix, if you will.

The staff are more hardcore in their logistical expertise, and their knowledge of fish and stuff, and are used to seeing people come along for 10 weeks. I imagine if you’ve had 100 people come through the programme, you’ve probably heard all of the original ideas about island life that can be mustered, and probably seen people try most of them. So when we turn up, full of beans and revelations, they often counter with a “Actually, there already is a volleyball net / a swing / extensive cannibalism due to lack of fresh meat on the island”

But that doesn’t stop me wanting a trampoline, oh no. And to set a squadron of candles in coconut shells afloat, while playing the triangle and burning incense. If it wasn’t for the lectures, and ‘storming, forming, norman and mormons’ that are going on, I’m suer we’d be getting all sorts of expedition equipment. I’d certainly be looking for a Keyop outfit, him being my favourite of the GForce team. (Imagine how disappointed I was when I discovered that after raising 2500 quid for a place on the expedition, there was no missions in a flaming spaceship to defeat Spectra’s Zoltar….)

Anyway, being back on expedition training is a far cry from being a lone adventurer. Who has friends in Thailand. You can’t help missing the place, and people you meet often say that their travel plans often ended in Thailand, and if they hadn’t run out of money, that they would still be there. Not many of them have mentioned falling in love with hookers though, so I guess their money and time in Thailand was probably extended longer than it could be.

As you can imagine, it is up to those people still in Thailand to fight the good fight against decency and sobriety. Since the team at Greenforce is still getting to know each other, I haven’t done any of the following since Tuesday:

  • Been in a knife fight, or had any reason to run from the police
  • Watched bear baiting or woke up in a brothel
  • Drank a litre of rum or wandered the streets cursing like a wounded pirate

Well not since Tuesday morning, at any rate.

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