Value is a relative thing to me. I wouldn’t sell my grandmother, that’s not what I mean. Imagine you have paid the same amount for a shared service as some French person. The amount of service you consume relative to the French person tells you who gets the best value. Value for money is relative. […]

A distraught man called up interpol in the Spanish tourist town of Torremolinos at 6pm today. He wanted to report his genitals as missing. We have a transcript of the conversation below: Interpol operator: “Could you tell us the details of the alleged theft please?” Caller: “I was in the shower, and I looked down

I watch the fresh meat check in. Some call the new inmates “fish”, but these cock-knockers can’t probably even float, let alone swim in this penitentiary. You should see them at their first meal. They don’t know where to sit, how to get to the food before the Spanish take all the best cuts. Shute,