Making an ice luge for dispensing drinks was a popular pastime on a tropical island I lived on. Especially popular since there was no refridgeration on the lump of sand we called home, and every week, we would take a boat to get a block of ice from a nearby island which had such facilities. We weren’t very sophisticated in our tequila luges – a block of ice on an angle with a carved channel for the flow of tequila into our waiting cakeholes was as far as we got. This was not an expensive form of intoxication, but the thrill was in the chill.
On seeing a section on Ice Delivery in the Yellow Pages for the North and West London area, I felt thrilled to find an advert for a vodka luge. I excitedly phoned up for a quotation for a luge. Surely a block of ice couldn’t cost more than 20 quid. I put a reserve price of 30 quid on it including delivery. The nice antipodean who answered my call informed me that the prices started at 180 GBP, going up to around 330. Everyone will be drinking Stella at my leaving bash. Possibly warm Stella.