When asked if the world will end on May 21st, a local Austin snake Sammy claimed that it didn’t really matter to him either way. I cornered him in a coffee shop called Pacha, over a goji-berry smoothy.
Me: So how will the end of the world affect you?
Sammy: Not much really. I mean I won’t have to wake up in the morning.
Me: But won’t you feel sad that you haven’t had time to fulfill your dreams?
Sammy: I live in the moment. If the world ended tomorrow, there wouldn’t be a moment. I wouldn’t be alive.
Me: Well if renowned crystal-ball gazer Harold Camping is right, then will you still be saying the same on May 2oth? Because there won’t be a tomorrow.
Sammy: If there’s no tomorrow, and no me, then I won’t have to worry will I?
Me: According to Camping, the believers will remain behind after the world is cleansed and so forth. Wouldn’t you rather be here with them?
Sammy: Well being a believer is their deal really. I’m not sure I’d want to live in a world populated solely by believers. You know what I mean? I’m a simple guy. I’m looking out for #1. Then I’m after #2.
Me: Don’t you think that’s a little sad, that you’re suddenly not going to “be” any more?
Sammy: Well I sort of believe that I “wasn’t”. I guess I’m just enjoying the “am” while I have it.
Me: But you could continue to “be” according to Harold Camping. All you have to do is believe.
Sammy: That sounds a bit like having to believe in the Wombles to see them to me. Are you saying I can just believe myself into existence?
Me: Well Camping has it that if you believe in the right things, then you will continue to occupy the planet you’re on now, and not disappear in a puff of Abrahamic religion smoke.
Sammy: Sorry, got to go. I see a #3. Laters.
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