Just got back from a brief dive holiday in Sipadan, where they let you dive in caves and at night with no real evidence of diving experience, and then sell you beer to help get over the decompression illness. And middleaged women go to pull young Malaysian dive instructors. One of them asked me for a condom ‘for her friend’ so that she could stay one more night with our dive instructor. What does it mean when people ask you for contraceptives?
a. you’re likely to be carrying some as you are such a stud muffin
b. you’re never likely to use that festering out of date condom that you keep in your wallet, the one that your dad gave you on your 18th birthday
c. you look like someone who rips of condom machines
d. you look like someone from the Terrence Higgins Trust
or
e. that ‘I have a small penis’ t-shirt makes you a likely candidate
?
After reintroducing can shotgunning into Asia (And the Loughborough beermat game – much to the delight of the local germs wishing to propogate themselves), it seemed only natural to try drinking lager underwater at night in this great island resort. Quite funny, if a little salty, and not enough peanuts. Though there was as much peanut butter and toast as you could eat at the resort.
Got to go into the wilderness to see a Chinese man about a dog, so don’t watch this space for a bit. Or expect any emails phone calls etc.