Last night I was asked a seemingly innocent question by someone who I consider to be both famous and awesome. Something big is about to happen because of it.
I’m not sure if it was a combination of her having food to eat and me not eating (courtesy of Sunday’s shrimp-tastrophy which has left me three days foodless), but she asked a quick question which kept me thinking, filling nervously while I sought an answer and then running off to think about it. So I guess she got to eat her food, and didn’t have to talk with her mouth full. Coincidentally she’s a a trained therapist.
I’m a big fan of asking questions. It’s second nature to me to ask questions. Well, first nature come to think of it. Now according to the sales industry, asking questions is one way of controlling a conversation. By all accounts, I’m a control freak too. However, questions are just a way of finding out stuff if you ask me. I like finding out stuff. And maybe I don’t like answering questions, so I get mine out first.
Last night was an event I couldn’t miss, and despite my natural tendency to avoid doing anything that people tell me I should do, or would enjoy, I went to a website launch party. And, against all odds, and despite being told I should be there, I enjoyed it, not least because of the good question asked by the celebrity / therapist / food eater.
The celebrity and I got to talking and she asked what I do. Despite all of the other things I do (juggle chainsaws, fight crime dressed in spandex, help old ladies find lost kittens) I told her my profession. Immediately I sprang to my defense, explaining the ridiculousness of the cartel, the outrageous costs built into the industry and my plans to change the world.
The next question was the one that stumped me:
“What w0uld you do if you weren’t a Realtor?”.
I haven’t read “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell (he too suffers from the two word last name syndrome, though none of his words are verbs) though I’m led to believe that it talks about your first reaction being your most honest. I downloaded the audio book yesterday, and am contemplating the idea of spending 8 hours listening to a narrator who may well tell me that my first reaction is the right one. So if that’s my first reaction, I probably won’t end up listening to it. 8 hours saved. Go me and my intuition.
“I’d be an alcoholic”, I blurted out, then recovering, “or a stay at home dad.” I thought about what I’d just said and added.” Or both.”
They say it’s hard to be a career alcoholic. But let’s face it, it’s hard to be Malcolm Gladwell, or a celebrity or Jesus. Doesn’t mean little Johnny shouldn’t try though.
I’m still thinking about it, just like the answer to the 2006 question, “what is your purpose?” which has got me stumped. Jesus, if he existed, probably had the same issues. What am I here for? Can’t I just drink grape-wine all day and wolf whistle at shiksa all day?
In over-analysis and reflection, I came to be here in Austin by a similar process: I didn’t eat for a few days (on purpose – no shrimp implications) and decided via a p0ll on the internets that I should come stay in a trailer park in Austin for a few months. True story. So maybe my life is about to take a dramatic turn based on an empty stomach and a simple question. And not just three days without food, but more significantly without diet coke or booze either.
What would you do if you weren’t a whatever it is that you do all day?
years ago i was asked this question and answered “lush.” by my definition, a lush and an alcoholic exhibit the same level and frequency of drinking, except the alcoholic drinks because she has to and the lush drinks because she wants to and could stop if she wanted to.
after being asked and answering that question…i became a lush for a few years. then, i quit drinking for several months to make sure i could stop if i wanted to. then i started “lushing” again, then i blacked out, and except for a glass of wine the night i visited my mother, i haven’t had any liquor for 16 days. my body feels better. my mind feels clearer. my heart aches. but my heart aches when i lush (as a verb), too, so…no biggie.
if i didn’t do what i do (answering that question freshly today), i would be a fairy godmother.
thanks for asking. 🙂
Lush is more than a verb. It’s a way of life.
If I were not doing what I’m currently doing, then I’d stop doing that and start doing what I’m currently doing.