You can’t avoid death and taxes allegedly. Well I figure if you buy into one of those spiritual gigs that makes you not believe in death, then the first one is poppycock.
Taxes however. There’s the ‘tax exile from the UK’ gambit, as proposed by Raz, my senior tax advisor, accountant and general explorer of the further reaches of human experience. Or there’s the ‘lie a little bit when you fill in the forms’ gambit which I actually follow.
The Inland Revenue are my biggest fans from the UK it seems. They have sent me nine letters while I was wiping bugs off my helmet on the way back from Florida.
Hang on. Pirates don’t pay tax. Screw them. I’m going to spend all my money on a big ass gold earring and wear my money. And next time I’m in the UK, I’ll plunder the Inland Revenue. Maybe they put it inland to stop piracy, but I don’t care, I can lub land when I need to.