Metox shock syndrome

“Man used to gain experience by travelling the world, by crossing uncharted territories. In the 1800s it would take three years to cross Europe, and would require the use of a steam locomotive, a pack of huskies and three sixty gallon drums of vaseline.”

“In modern times, advances in technology have made the world smaller…”

Eh? Dr. Dooms mysterious shrinking ray?

“… and the challenges in travel are no longer external, but internal. Man’s new tests are during travel in ‘inner space’ as we go on a voyage of self discovery.”

Quite frankly, that’s all poppycock. However. When momentarily stranded in Loughborough, it is time to push back the boundaries of human experience in different dimensions. So back to more detox diets, not least of all because you get to bathe once more in the weedkiller and dicarbon monosulphide that’s trapped inside your greedy little body, waiting to get out and wreak havoc on your mental wellfare.

In my extensive twenty minutes of research, concentrating especially on regimes that would only last three days, I came across this one which looks like an absolutely incredible experience:

Have you ever wanted to fire seventy green balls into the loo? Sized between 1mm and 1cm in diameter? The mind boggles, but this article tells you how to do it – the liver flush. In just two days! Personally, as soon as I get my hands on twenty litres of organic apple juice, my long-suffering liver and I are going for it.

1 thought on “Metox shock syndrome”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.