Many would be drinkers turn into would be pugilists at the stroke of tequila o’clock (usually about three hours after beer o’clock – depending on locale). What they don’t realise is that fighting is actually quite hard when you are drunk, a fact that bouncers use to their advantage in drunk-baiting. In an interview a few years ago, one bouncer described his favourite techniques for humiliating piss-artists: it relies largely upon grabbing the victim and spinning them around several times, resulting in confusion and as easy dazed target for pummeling. (This is very similar to the ‘helmet grab and windmill’ performed by London cab drivers on petulant motorcycle couriers. Key differences are the fact that most drunks don’t wear helmets, and taxi drivers won’t hit helmet wearing couriers in the face after disorienting them)
Recent studies in Stone Henge, put a series of would be aggressors through their paces with pads and gloves. Limited, and slightly slurred training was given, as the cross-dressing participants swedged and swiped at the pad holding instructor. Photos of the study are included for reference.
The following conclusions were drawn:
- drunken punching is quite tiring, but quite good
- punching should not be carried out near crockery and paintings nailed to walls of rented cottages
- wearing a dress doesn’t affect punching power
- violence is a poor substitute for showing tits and ass to your friends and the camera
- Deleting pictures of your genitals is easier from a digital camera left unattended over night, than from regular cameras