Thank God. Lionel will save lack of attendance at a charity event that I have been invited to. Lionel – come back – we’ve missed you. “Is it me you’re looking for?”
Walking back from the Fast Show Live after having laughed my guts out, a public telephone started to ring as I passed it. In my mind, people who answer such calls are more than likely to get immersed in the seedy urban underbelly of mafia life / engaged in daring jungle escapades / get to rescue distressed kittens. So I went to answer the phone. It stopped ringing before I picked up though. But it made me remember a youth of death threats and harrassings. All you do is get the phone number of a public phone in site of another public phone. Then you get the operator to initiate a reverse-charged or collect call to one box from the other.
When a passer-by picks up the call, and accepts the call, you can give them a ransom demand for the mayor’s daughter and see how they react. They normally hang up when you threaten to send them her fingers if they don’t stop pretending that they don’t know what you’re talking about.