Oh, and the cherry blossom and all that spring stuff is going on and it only lasts a few days, and if you aren`t staying in your hotel watching “Food Battle, King of Masters”, apparently Tokyo is quite pretty. 23 degrees Cee. Put that in your cheroot and toke it. Mongolian farmers make cigarettes out of newspaper and stuff. Put Marlboro out of business with their silly red cardboard packets.

And if Russia, Germany, Japan and maybe China too, if they had all ganged up on poxy Britain in the 2nd world war, we`d have polite people, no unsanctioned crime, one helluva organised crime system (cleavers, kalashnikovs, women named Olga), cute little cartoons and 79 letters in our alphabet. But at least the trains would run on time.