Scene: sharing a dorm room with ten other volunteers in Kota Kinabalu. Seven of them have just arrived through an eight hour timezone shift on a three leg flight from hell. Tiger beer. Hostel. Sleep? Small bladder syndrome – why did I choose a top bunk? Endearing image.

Did I mention that I’m going to be stranded on a beach for 10 weeks on Monday? With booze only on Saturday nights? Jeesh.