Monday – three people complement my accent. Tuesday – one person asks me if I’m Irish. I think I must be losing my accent.

According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, I have the driving ability of a teenage Texan high-school kid. Huzzah! The speeding in the rain, not understanding US road signs, and going around turns too fast apparently qualify me as a driver here.

Again, sounds like the end scene of a porno movie. Turns out to be scones and some sort of white creamy goo.