Spin. I wanted to give something back to the community that has treated me so well. That’s why I started teaching people to breakdance while my clothes are spinning in the wheels of steel in the local laundry. Free classes every Monday at 45th and Speedway. Bring some music.

You know what Stuart? I like you. You’re not like the other people here in Austin. They’re all liberal permissives. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all decent folk. Except for the loose morals and the bubonic tacos. They like to sit around in dark bars with red lights, and kick back with Jim and Jack

“Don’t marry an Indian Squaw to get citizenship – it didn’t work for Uncle Steve.” – this top tip was brought to you by my my father in an email today.