Week one of snowboarding was about fear. Fear and pain.
Week two was about confidence and fear. And pain. And violent snow storms.
Our instructor for week one was an insipid thin lipped character called Stefan. Barely a smile crossed his face as he went through the motions of repeating:
“Weight on the front leg”
“On the frontside, for the goofy, turn the harms first and the upper body, and the board will follow”
“Keep the legs bent”
Week two saw us under the tiny wing of a charasmatic instructor called Claudio. For the first few days, all we saw of him was his jaw, his goggles, and his red ski ecole francais outfit. Eventually, he manager to get us into a bar for a break, and we saw that he had eyes and a bit of hair too. Week two was about enjoying yourself. For the people who were lagging behind and falling over, this meant that Claudio offered them the opportunity to enjoy themselves at their leisure rather than in our lesson – he offered them the chance to, “Get some rest.”
Claudio looked like a supermario brother – small and flexible, and prone at the drop of a hat to bounce around, spin, and collect a magic star from an imaginary ceiling. Instruction was subtle, and we were constantly surprised at how many limbs still worked after each foray into the week-long blizzard. Claudio was wrinkled with stories – how he had been in three avalanches in his previous job as an avalanche starter. Claudio would bounce on his board and chime out cryptic ideas about snowboarding. There was rarely any concrete instruction except for the talentless Jim and Darren who would appear ten minutes late into the midst of the waiting class covered in snow and excuses. Claudio was more indirect. He would proclaim things like a Jedi instructor:
“Feel the snow – don’t look – maybe listen, but really feel”
He would mutter french profanities constantly, and then issue another vague commandment:
“Play with the slope, feel your position.”
“Don’t be afraid. You are obliged to take the slope.”
“Ice is the henemy of the snow boarder. With no visibility, sure we are afraid, and even to someone of my level, we can be surprised by the snow, but we must flow.”
“In the deep snow, be gentle. You are the boss of your board.”
The best thing about Claudio was his knack for suggesting shelter from the storms in whatever bar was available. Rum and ibuprofen made the lessons fly by.