Far from achieving a new life in Texas, I have achieved the following: I won a game of chess played against a computer. This was the first time I have ever done this. Even though all the (two) programs I ever played against had the computer playing at toddler level.
I basked in triumph at my momentous victory. I did a lap of the room with my t-shirt over my head. I got up off the floor after falling over a table, and hurled abuse at the computer, it’s mother, and all of its deluded supporters. I hoisted aloft an imaginary trophy and waved to the fans. Well, to some cats who were nearby.
My celebration was shortlived. I realised that the real achievement was in downloading a chess game that allowed you to handicap it to the point of imbecility. The score line stands at two – nil now. The imbecile is going down. Give your ego a boost with ChessPartner 5.2.