The events below happened to a friend of mine this weekend. It really wasn’t me. I was with my Dad. I have witnesses. Mr. Salter – so called because of his proclivity to spill red wine and try to avoid staining with copious amounts of salt – reports the following sequence of events:
Snogged two colleagues(ladies)
Fell asleep on train
Got robbed
Woke up half way to the midlands and a bit confused.
Proposition by a hooker and a pimp
Started fire in car park (twas cold)
Fell asleep in grit dispenser
And all because the laddy had four pints of stella in half an hour. Nice.