Top tips for going to reunions with people you use to live on a tropical island with:
- have a few drinks before leaving the house. Cider if possible
- get there early
- go to a tanning salon to make it look like you’ve not been mostly decomposing in dank, dark London
- Turn up at the venue about two hours before your chums and station yourself at the bar
- amuse yourself by striking up a conversation with a member of the bar staff along the lines of: “Pint of Stella, please.”, “Two pounds twenty.”, “Thanks”
- Try the conversation on other bar staff over the coming hours, until your chums arrive
- Drink like billy-ho, completely fail to have any kind of conversation with anyone
- Argue at length with any bouncers who won’t let you into their clubs, nodding much of the time to ellicit an air of agreement, without inadvertantly being really patronising
- Go to the nearest WalkAbout just before 2am so that you can wind up some inebriate and burly Australians when one of your companions pushes them off a podium she wants to dance on
- Predictably tell the hotdog vendor outside that you used to sell hotdogs on the streets, and cajole him mercilessly for discounted dogs
- fail to stay out of bed for more than a few hours the following day
Photo story included.