OK Hollywood movie producers, your gaff is blown. More than the seals on my crankshaft. Or whatever seals there are supposed to be between the enginey bit and the flywheely bit.
It’s obvious that you’re planning on calling a movie “Slice of Intrigue“. How do I know this? What other reason could there be for people googling the phrase and finding my little cynical pie-hole? Market research, clearly.
Also obvious to me, is that you want some hints on cast and soundtrack in what I can only guess is a transgendered zombie love story, in which the heroines transcend both gender and their wizard’s control (yes I’m talking West African Vodun zombies people) against a backdrop in which the sorcerers formerly in control are serving the lao with both hands if you know what I mean.
I say get Juliette Lewis for the female lead, just because she sounds funny, and can squint like the undead. For the she-male lead, I say get Noel Fielding, mainly because I want to see more of him. Not as in more parts of him – no, don’t get the wrong idea. I mean see him more frequently. And he already looks like he’s sucking on human brains behind his graveyard smile. Save a bundle on makeup.
For the title music, I’d go with Chromeo – Me and My Man. Can’t go wrong there.
Have you ever tried to express your understanding of sexuality and gender in a Venn Diagram in a hurry while comparing the virtues of fried tuna sandwiches and toasted tuna sandwiches? It’s so complicated. With the toasted version, the margarine is on the inside only and retains a nice liquid flavor on each bite, whereas the fried margarine is more of a crispy adjunct to the mastication sensation. And what about people who are neither gay nor straight, and who are neither male nor female? And what happens when that slice of intrigue goes from human to zombie? I just need more dimensions to get it all out.
I don’t want to offend anyone who considers that zombies are still human, that is not my intent. And I still go for toasted tuna. It’s just less American, I’m afraid to say.