2004

Randy is a cliche in a sweatshirt. He is my new best friend, and coincidentally a lead fitness consultant. I go to Gold’s Gym on a free five day pass issued to me by Randy. Randy Ruiz. From his family name and general demeanour, I assume his Mexican father inseminated a Texan cow, and after […]

Monday – three people complement my accent. Tuesday – one person asks me if I’m Irish. I think I must be losing my accent.

According to the Texas Department of Public Safety, I have the driving ability of a teenage Texan high-school kid. Huzzah! The speeding in the rain, not understanding US road signs, and going around turns too fast apparently qualify me as a driver here.