OK, so bear in mind that I’m a little light-headed on day three of my mini-cleanse, so my sentences might be a little off. I am doing a master cleanse as I type, which should tell you that despite the following factoids and general hype debunking, I go ahead and do it anyway.
You are essentially drinking sugar water instead of anything remotely like real food. Food that has complex nutrients, a balance of protein, fat and carbohydrates. Not on this fast. Even if you make the lemonade with hand-squeezed organic clouds, and you personally jerk-off 1000 year old maple trees to get the syrup, it’s still sugar water.
Mastercleanse.org is not at all an org, in that it’s a for-profit endeavor. It sells advertising. It’s not your friend. It just sells stuff. If you want to get to the source and read Stanley Burroughs’ book. It’s on Amazon, I’m sure you can find it.
Mucoid plaque – the stuff one hopes to expel following a couple of pints of salt water is a fictional advertising term. It doesn’t exist. If it comes out during a cleanse, it’s because you put it in there. In a cleanse.
If you lose weight during the cleanse, it’s because you are taking in less calories than usual, and your body is breaking itself down. I hate to think of the stress on your kidneys. For this reason, I don’t plan on weighing myself before, during or after a cleanse. No one weighs a Formula 1 car half way through a race and saying that it’s miraculously lost weight while ignoring the fact that it’s been burning gasoline for the last 2 hours. If you lose weight, you’ll probably gain it again soon after you start eating again.
It rots your teeth like a mofo. Think about it. You’re drinking 8-12 glasses of sugar water a day. Forget mucoid, think dental. If you’re going for the wastrel toothless hillbilly look, get some dungarees and drink lemonade for a month – it’ll get you on your way.
So why the bejesus am I doing it? I find fasting a spiritual practice. Oh gods, I’ve used that phrase so any credibility has gone the way of mucoid plaque at a colonic pathology convention. All I mean by that is that it alters my patterns, breaks my rhythm and allows me to reflect a little more. It makes me think about my relationship with food (oh crumbs, there I go again) and makes me think about what I want from it.
As a bonus, I love lemonade, and I like the extra time in the day I get not cooking or eating. There’s less dishes to wash, and it’s cheaper than eating food. So who’s taking me out for a steak next week?
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i had a friend who would abstain from masturbating / sex for a month for similar reasons, spiritual practices and so on. less stress on the dental plan and kidneys, but there is a downside.
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i had a friend who would abstain from masturbating / sex for a month for similar reasons, spiritual practices and so on. less stress on the dental plan and kidneys, but there is a downside.
Celibacy has a downside? Tell me more…