Guy stumbles from his room, resplendant in shorts and a straggle of chest hair. He rubs the prozac from his eyes as he weaves his way around the storage boxes in the living room. He is solely motivated to get a sugar rush the kitchen. He looks up and sees Ron covered in blood, with his clothes ripped. Ron looks like death – his clothes covered in a mix of blood and dirt, the right side of his face furrowed with a deep gash. Guy’s eyes widen and he focuses on the blood encrusted gouge that runs from Ron’s eye to the bottom of his cheek.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“I got kicked in by a bunch of dominatrixes.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine. I got punched in the head, and kicked in the chest quite hard. But mostly fine.”
“You look awful. Your face….”
“Yeah, they kind of laid into me while I was on the ground. It’s pretty hard to fight back effectively when you’re a zombie. No hand speed.”
“What?”
“I’m a zombie. I’ve just been in a show.”
And what a show. Apparently it is a First Amendment right to burn the american flag. I know this because a towering woman of 6’4″ told me so as the Poon Girls tore off the flags that had served as their bras and burned them. Bait and Switch (the stage name of the towering woman) also told me that it is illegal to burn US currency. Something to do with money being more important than the nation.
The show was allegedly a fashion show. From the amount of broad daylight, outdoor nudity involved, I can only assume that the fashion houses are really pushing nipple tape. It is also illegal to show (female) nipples in public events. The Poon Girls sported hammer and sickle emblazoned nipple tape. A real hit for this season – what everyone will be wearing.