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Tech guy

Director – What’s that volume on the effects?

Me – Er. Ten.

Director – OK. I want it at eleven.

One of the best things about helping out at a theatre is getting to turn the sound up to eleven. Other great things in this particular play are the cast, the tasteful nudity, lapdancers and bunnie girls. I’m not sure if this is normal for most actors, but drinking beer and smoking reefers seems to be the best way to prepare to go onstage for the cast of Wilhelm Reich in Hell.

On my first day, Marilyn Munroe passes me in a corridor, wearing nothing save a pharoah’s hat. I thought of polite chit chat options.

  • Nice tits – the nipple-o-meter says it’s cold in here or you’re excited to see me
  • Nice hat
  • Lovely weather for the time of year, especially since it was snowing last weekend

Being quite a mild-mannered English fellow I plumped for the second.

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