Tramping

I was asleep in a bothy (stone shelter) when a walker opened the door and asked where the kitchen was. Next to the bleedin’ sauna and snooker room I didn’t reply. It must have taken a few seconds before my pungent trampy odour hit her nose, for she paused a moment before abruptly departing. The problem with only having one set of clothes is that it’s very hard to wash both your clothes and your body at the same time, without having to streak from a luanderette to a shower. And then even if you do that, all of the grime on your backpack would still be there to soak back into your clothes if you didn’t wash that at the same time.

What I’m proposing is a tramp dip. Fully clothed tramps, carrying all of their possessions can enter into the sterilising room of the tramp dip, where hot soapy foam is squirted at them and then blow dried off. A car wash would do. Must find a car wash. I haven’t washed my hair in two weeks, but it’s my birthday tomorrow, and I want to look and smell nice for the sheep I’ll be spending it with.

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