What is IT good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again.

Not drinking booze in pubs part II: conversation overheard last night:

IT consultant 1: Yeah, yeah, I know. But when we form this super-company, we can keep it nice and small – about 50 people. And if all of our people are multi-skilled, then they can work on site, with the customer. They’ll work side by side with the users, and understand the problems and processes, so they’ll be able to build better systems, that actually do what people want them to do. We can build better human-computer interfaces. It’ll be wicked

IT consultant 2: But don’t you think that it will upset the users you’re working with – basically you’re making a system to put them out of a job, to increase efficiency.

IT consultant 1: True, you’ve got to be able to go to the CEO and say ‘I need you to fire these 500 people’. The CEO is your customer, so that’s why it doesn’t matter that the users don’t like you.

IT consultant 2: Hang on, the users, well, they’ll resist the change. They won’t tell you what they do, if they understand what it is that they do. They’ll sabotage everything. They’re users – it’s their job security they’re giving away everytime they tell your supernerds what it is that they do

IT consultant 1: But the CEO has to trust you, and force people to tell you. And then sack them anyway.

IT consultant 2: Where is all of this going? What’s the world going to be like with all of these super efficient companies, with no people working in them any more? When the companies are just big sets of systems made by supernerds that talk to other systems made by supernerds? Aren’t you making humanity redundant?

IT consultant 3 (my favourite): Will we get more leisure time?

IT consultant 1: Well there’s a theory that capitalism is just about making a two tier society where there are people like us – the supernerds – and then there’s the proletariat who eat gruel. That’s where it’s heading.

IT consultant 2: I don’t mind that, but can I work at home as a supernerd?

IT consultant 1: Absolutely not! It won’t work! You have to be with these users face to face. You have to work with them, and understand what they do.

IT consultant 2: Maybe that’s true, but can’t I communicate with users from home with video conferencing, email, telephones?

IT consultant 1: No way! It doesn’t work! People are designed to talk to people – look at our body language now. You don’t get people talking to Cathode Ray Screens and them talking back – it’s a crazy idea.

IT consultant 3: Hold your horses there, buster – doesn’t that kind of make it a bit ill fated to build computer systems that people have to work with in the first place? If that form of communication isn’t effective? Doh.

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