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I have to stop drinking. Vietnam has some great beer for virtually no money. My left ear started bleeding a few days back. I think some of the brain which attends to focussing my eyes may have leaked out. As fortune would have it, Singapore beer is really expensive.

Last night I only had a few lagers, and I was fortunate to find some innocent entertainment before I found any trouble. Perhaps there is no trouble in Singapore – I’ll keep you posted. What I did find in this innocent city? The Suntec City Dance Finals. This is where lots of small people jump up and down far too fast in an attempt to qualify for some kind of Asian dance competition. It reminds me that a mouse has a heart that beats really fast because it is so lickle. And an elephant’s heart beats really slowly, as it is ginormous. Maybe these Singaporeans weren’t fully grown, but most of them appeared to be of below average bodysize. So perhaps that’s why the group dance teams chose music with more beats per minute than Rodney King’s Face – perhaps their hearts beat faster, their limbs move faster, they die younger (like mice).

Now I don’t know too much about dancing – you can ask anyone who was in any Loughborough night spot in the last few decade. But it seems to me that you shouldn’t try to get six people on a stage prancing out of time to music that seems uncoreographable to them. What do I mean? Well, if the dance master says you have to move the extremity of a limb about one metre for every beat, and your maximum limb movement rate is only so high, STOP DANCING TO MUSIC THAT’S TOO FAST. It looks silly and you can’t keep in time. Christ on a bicycle.

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